A new Spring!

My last post was actually drafted 2 months ago!

          Much has happened in the past 2 months, and it is time to write it out. After much exploration and research, I shared with my husband my desire to look into Eastern Orthodox Christianity. My husband is an amazing man, who loves me dearly. We complement each other. Without me he would live a very boring life, and without him I would live like a butterfly, flitting about from pretty flower to pretty flower.
         At first, he was cautiously supportive. In fact his words were, "That's fine, but I am not converting!" Although he said that, he bought me my Orthodox Study Bible and began doing some reading on his own. Eventually, we agree to attend our Protestant church on Sat. nights and an Orthodox church on Sun mornings. The first few Divine Liturgies were difficult experiences. This was so foreign. Yes, it was beautiful. But, how could this be church? How was it going to teach me about God? Didn't I need someone to preach AT me? To tell me how to live? Why did I need to be a part of this Liturgical Service? Wouldn't it get boring, week in and week out? Would I grow in my relationship with God?

         These questions did not have immediate answers. I couldn't look up the answers, I had to experience the answers. To do that, let me tell you about our last night in a Protestant Church.

         We went to church like normal. The kids went happily to their children's classes and we walked into the auditorium in preparation for praise and worship. The music started and it was wonderful. We were very fortunate to have a phenomenal worship band with many very talented musicians. Yes, there was something spiritual in the experience, but the thought that rose in my mind was, "I would pay money to see these guys in concert. In fact, that's where I feel I am at. At a really good concert, but something is missing." There was nothing wrong with the music, it was both beautiful and organic, it was everything a praise and worship service should be. And yet, something was missing.
         Then the Pastor started his message. He is a wonderful Pastor, with a genuine love for his congregation. You can feel it as he speaks. He begins talking about the research he has done into the ancient paths of Christianity, and about His desire to learn from them. In fact, he goes on, "Many of the Monasteries had a 'Rule' that they lived by. A prayer schedule and routine that guided their day." We could look at their example and come up with our Rule. In that moment, I leaned over to my husband and said, "But we already have all of that over at the Orthodox church."
         After service, I asked my husband his thoughts on the Pastor's message. His response was something likes this, "Have you noticed that when we leave an Orthodox service we never ask 'How did the Priest do?' Our church experience does not revolve around a man's ability to preach a message. As a result, our spiritual life has little to do with 'How the sermon went?" In fact, when we are in a Protestant Church we are the audience, but when we go to the Orthodox church we spend the entire service smack dab "in the middle" of an act of worship. Every moment, every action, every word is a deliberate act of worship, rich with meaning and tradition.

         So, we found home. I will be honest. I still have some questions, I'm still disoriented at times, but this is where I feel safe. It's where I have come to be able to rest in the arms of the God I love. I can read the Bible again and pray.