This post has sat in my draft box for a couple months. Figured it was time to post it!I cannot put into words what I am going thru spiritually. This has been a roller coaster of journey. Sometimes I think I am crazy, "What am I doing?!" rings thru my head. But there is no going back. Where would I go? Nothing has come close to offering the depth of healing and spiritual life that I have found in the Orthodox Church. For awhile I wondered if we could just adopt some of the ancient faith practices and incorporate them into the Protestant Church. The only problem with that is that it would be another 1500 years before I could experience the deep layers that I can submerge myself in the EO.
This was never more clear to me than on Pascha. Coming into a dark church, processing around the building, and then walking into the brilliant light, bells ringing, chandeliers swinging it was like being transported back in time. A peaceful confidence began to bloom inside my heart, the calm knowing, "I am HOME!"
I could have written this about 6 years ago. I even tried to incorporate Orthodox practices and prayers into my life, thinking I could put it off. It was quickly apparent I just couldn't wait. Now that I've crossed the Bosporus, I sure wish I had done it sooner. But, I'm so glad I'm home. I just wish I could share it with my friends and they'd understand. Instead they think I'm nuts. It is a deep sadness in my life that I can't share the beauty and depth of Orthodoxy with them because of their refusal. I think that's why it is such a joy when we converts find another Protestant who gets it (even if we really don't know each other from Adam).
ReplyDeleteI understand. It was difficult for me to even take the plunge and let my Blog address become availble on Facebook. It is a great comfort for me to know that others have walked this path before me!
ReplyDeleteAfter years of "Church shopping", I know exactly what you mean about being home. Thank you for sharing. Our whole family came into the EO Church 8 years ago and I had that same emotional response all over again, when I read your words, "I am home!!"
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